love and friendship

My body was on loan from God, much like a leased car. And like a leased car, use of it came with a lot of rules and restrictions that I had to adhere to lest there be a hefty penalty to pay down the road. There were rules about what I could eat and drink, how I could dress and accessorize, how I should present myself, what activities I could engage in, when and how I could enjoy sex, and on and on.
But that’s not all.
Around the time puberty was supposed to hit, I was taught by the Mormon church to make decisions about my body with my future husband in mind. I was told to preserve my purity for him, to ask myself before crossing a line if my future husband would want a woman who had done such a thing, to imagine what it would be like to one day confess my sins to him, hoping he would want me anyway.